Dream Techniques For Childhood Nightmares
The shadow man was my daughter's monster. He would stand over her bed or near her closet. She would be brave but he would draw nearer as she got sleepier. He was waiting for her to sleep so he could take her away from her family and everyone she loved.
I worried about sharing what some have called my gift to my daughter. My ability to become cognitively aware in my dreams has had its drawbacks. One cannot help but become affected by this experience. Highly educated thinkers have published entire books attributing outlandish theories to this quite normal process of the human mind. But my daughter's inner demons were based on very real emotional trauma. She needed my help when she was facing foster care. Now she needed my help again addressing the nightmares that resulted from her difficult childhood.
Reaching the REM state while holding on to your cognitive awareness is much like navigating a small boat through a tropical storm at sea. You are constantly blown off course. At times, you are overwhelmed by the constantly shift waves and the powerful currents of the mind. You can easily experience this turbulent barrier between reality and the subconscious even if you don't believe in the phenomenon of lucid dreaming. Simply lie down, close your eyes and refuse to move. Eventually, sheer terror will force you out.
I explained these common pitfalls to Claire. I wasn't even sure I could show her how to lucid dream. I pulled a reading chair into her room and positioned a small lamp behind me as to not disturb her sleep. Even if she did not master the process, at least I would be here should the shadow man come. She scooted down in her bed and lay flat on her back as instructed. She was lying perfectly still without moving and without drifting off to sleep for as long as she could. She peered up at me and asked how long would it take. I knew the answer but did not want to spoil the surprise.
Her first dive lasted 45 minutes before she sprang straight up in her bed gasping and breathing heavily. I checked her pulse and it was steady and strong 90 beats per minute. I knew she had reached the edge of the barrier. I asked her to tell me what she experienced.
"I began to tingle almost from the start. I kept feeling like I had to move to get comfortable. Then I began to feel my toes go numb and this feeling spread up my entire body. I was cold at first without the covers over me. But you were right. I began to feel hot very quickly. Then I experienced the feeling of being on a roller coaster you described. I tried to hold on but it was getting too scary. I felt like I was being tossed around. When I bailed out I instantly felt frustrated with myself for giving up."
It was a good first attempt and I felt confident she would easily get accustomed to the turbulent waves that exist near the barrier. I told her that was all for the night and she should get comfortable to sleep. I remained in her room and she was in REM state within 10 minutes of curling up on her side. If I had told her this was part of the training she would have had expectations and not fallen to sleep as easily. Her fingers began to twitch slightly and her breathing deepened.
This was exciting for me as well. I had never thought to witness someone learning to breach the barrier. It was like watching her learning to swim or riding her bike without training wheels for the first time. When she had startled herself awake earlier she was not really awake. Her mind was still in a state of sleep prep. By waking up for a moment and then rolling over to sleep again she had primed the chemicals so to speak. She would drift through the barrier without effort and then it would simply be a matter of becoming aware of the other side.
Claire slept for 4 hours. I had returned to my book when she awoke with a hard jerk. I reached over and placed my hand on her shoulder and she peered back at me wide eyed for a moment unsure if she was awake. I smiled at her and said, "The conscious mind is a trickster. It wants to stay in control so it snatches the bed out from under you. "Claire blinked at me still groggy from sleep. Then she furrowed her brow in frustration pounding her fist into the pillow, "Aw Man!"
Within a few days, Claire was able to overcome her fear of the shadow man. As I suspected, he was a memory rather than a monster. She had not yet reached the ability to become cognitively aware in her dreams. But she had been able to reach over and turn on the lamp I placed by her bed. Her dream room lit up and she saw the face of the shadow man. It was daddy. He had been watching over her while she was going through the most difficult time in her life. She did not dream of the shadow man again and she was saddened by this. "Now that I know the shadow man was daddy I want him to come back to watch over me again."
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Previously Posted on FullofKnowlege.com
My kids have certain nightmares and I am also bothered. I just tell them to pray and I will be beside them until they wake up in the morning.
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